Thanksgiving...
Thanksgiving finds me at one of the most difficult times in my life. The loss of spouse, stepson, dog, and soon my Dad is at times almost overwhelming, and seems not to be at an end. Today I learned that one of my darling nieces is facing some, possibly, serious medical problems. Anger, resentment and sadness can be constant companions if I allow them.
Yet through all this pain, I am Thankful. Thankful for the basics of life. That in spite of four close calls with death that I know of and many more that I probably don't realize.....I have made it through another year. Thankful that I do have a multitude of friends who do care about me, deeply, and will be there no matter what. That I am sober today to be there for my Mom and Dad in their time of ultimate trial. Thankful that I finally learned to be honest enough to tell people that I'm not doing quite OK, and to learn to listen to their advice and accept their help with grace. Thankful that I finally learned that "happiness" is a fleeting thing, contentment and serenity can be permanent. Thankful for beautiful fall days and the gift to still recognize beauty through the sadness.
Thankful for the memory of a Big Gold Dog who gave me unconditional love, as few humans have, and for a little dog left behind who is grateful to finally be getting the attention she deserves, who just adores me, and wags her tail everytime I'm around. Thankful that God has put people in my life whom I can help, for I know that I receive more back than I give. Even thankful for some supremely tough times in the past that helped me realize that tough times do pass as today's shall too. And thankful and grateful that out of the wreckage of my drinking past I found AA which has taught me much of this attitude. Each day I remember the 11th Step of AA and two short prayers from the book Alcoholics Anonymous and a thought from the "Good Book", and remember where I was 14 years ago....and where I am now.
Step 11 – "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out".
Thanksgiving finds me at one of the most difficult times in my life. The loss of spouse, stepson, dog, and soon my Dad is at times almost overwhelming, and seems not to be at an end. Today I learned that one of my darling nieces is facing some, possibly, serious medical problems. Anger, resentment and sadness can be constant companions if I allow them.
Yet through all this pain, I am Thankful. Thankful for the basics of life. That in spite of four close calls with death that I know of and many more that I probably don't realize.....I have made it through another year. Thankful that I do have a multitude of friends who do care about me, deeply, and will be there no matter what. That I am sober today to be there for my Mom and Dad in their time of ultimate trial. Thankful that I finally learned to be honest enough to tell people that I'm not doing quite OK, and to learn to listen to their advice and accept their help with grace. Thankful that I finally learned that "happiness" is a fleeting thing, contentment and serenity can be permanent. Thankful for beautiful fall days and the gift to still recognize beauty through the sadness.
Thankful for the memory of a Big Gold Dog who gave me unconditional love, as few humans have, and for a little dog left behind who is grateful to finally be getting the attention she deserves, who just adores me, and wags her tail everytime I'm around. Thankful that God has put people in my life whom I can help, for I know that I receive more back than I give. Even thankful for some supremely tough times in the past that helped me realize that tough times do pass as today's shall too. And thankful and grateful that out of the wreckage of my drinking past I found AA which has taught me much of this attitude. Each day I remember the 11th Step of AA and two short prayers from the book Alcoholics Anonymous and a thought from the "Good Book", and remember where I was 14 years ago....and where I am now.
Step 11 – "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out".
"God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!" Lord I know that others who cause me pain are frequently spiritually ill. God help me to show these people the same tolerance, pity and patience that I would cheerfully grant a sick friend. This is a sick person, how can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry and resentful that I may live in the sunlight of The Spirit. Thy will be done. Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offence. Love keeps no score of wrongs; does not gloat over other mens sins, but delights in the truth. There is nothing love can not face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance.
1 Corinthians 13
