A month gone by....
It was a month ago today that the Big Gold Dog passed away, within a week of another sad personal finale in my life. One would think that this is about as much as God would give one person for awhile, but God has a plan of his own and it is revealed to me slowly and in His time.
Within the last month my Dad, who has terminal respiratory failure, has been slipping. He has been in for two hospital stays, the current one being for a week as of today. My sister is fond of saying, "we are all dying from the moment we are born", somewhat easier for her to say since I'm the one watching it occur while she lives elsewhere. But she is correct, we are all slipping slowly away, but my Dad will go before most of us who are reading these words. I've been at the hospital twice a day for the last week; three times today already, preparing for him to come home. This has been my goal, to get him home and to be as comfortable as possible and frankly to be a positive influence to counter my Mother's fatalism as well as to consider some tough medical decisions that, understandably, she finds hard to make.
He has rebounded from these episodes before, but realistically we know that this is a progressive and ultimately fatal disease. My friend and saint, Dr. Paul Best, has told me that his condition is not good and his well being will become a day to day affair. My family is blessed in that they can afford home nursing care when needed, my mother has help in the home and yard and I live only minutes from them. I am grateful that I can be of help and be with him as much as possible and that I have friends who support me; like an old friend whom my Dad knows, who took the time this morning to visit him.
I'm also grateful to the Big Gold Dog who recently gave me the experience of knowing what it is like to do the best you can for a dying loved one, enjoying the time you have left with them...and then to let them go when God is ready for them.
And I hope you understand my joy in the air show and tennis pictures. Those two weekends were the about the only respite I've had from a summer and fall of sadness, heartache, worry and stress. But....there's football coming again on Friday and life goes on according to God's plan.
5 O'Clock update: On my fourth trip to the hospital today I was able to bust "Big Wally" out. He's now back home resting comfortably. It's very hard to watch a man who used to be an excellent tennis player, an avid golfer, who walked and fought his way through Italy, a problem solver, now be able to only walk a few steps without tiring and be dependent on others to make decisions for him. But, like the Big Gold Dog, I still see the spark in his eye and the willingness to do what it takes to go on another day. In fact, my Dad felt so good to be out of the dark confines of Midland Memorial late this afternoon that he asked if we might just cruise around town a little and stop to get a candy bar. And so we did on a beautiful fall afternoon.
It was a month ago today that the Big Gold Dog passed away, within a week of another sad personal finale in my life. One would think that this is about as much as God would give one person for awhile, but God has a plan of his own and it is revealed to me slowly and in His time.
Within the last month my Dad, who has terminal respiratory failure, has been slipping. He has been in for two hospital stays, the current one being for a week as of today. My sister is fond of saying, "we are all dying from the moment we are born", somewhat easier for her to say since I'm the one watching it occur while she lives elsewhere. But she is correct, we are all slipping slowly away, but my Dad will go before most of us who are reading these words. I've been at the hospital twice a day for the last week; three times today already, preparing for him to come home. This has been my goal, to get him home and to be as comfortable as possible and frankly to be a positive influence to counter my Mother's fatalism as well as to consider some tough medical decisions that, understandably, she finds hard to make.
He has rebounded from these episodes before, but realistically we know that this is a progressive and ultimately fatal disease. My friend and saint, Dr. Paul Best, has told me that his condition is not good and his well being will become a day to day affair. My family is blessed in that they can afford home nursing care when needed, my mother has help in the home and yard and I live only minutes from them. I am grateful that I can be of help and be with him as much as possible and that I have friends who support me; like an old friend whom my Dad knows, who took the time this morning to visit him.
I'm also grateful to the Big Gold Dog who recently gave me the experience of knowing what it is like to do the best you can for a dying loved one, enjoying the time you have left with them...and then to let them go when God is ready for them.
And I hope you understand my joy in the air show and tennis pictures. Those two weekends were the about the only respite I've had from a summer and fall of sadness, heartache, worry and stress. But....there's football coming again on Friday and life goes on according to God's plan.
5 O'Clock update: On my fourth trip to the hospital today I was able to bust "Big Wally" out. He's now back home resting comfortably. It's very hard to watch a man who used to be an excellent tennis player, an avid golfer, who walked and fought his way through Italy, a problem solver, now be able to only walk a few steps without tiring and be dependent on others to make decisions for him. But, like the Big Gold Dog, I still see the spark in his eye and the willingness to do what it takes to go on another day. In fact, my Dad felt so good to be out of the dark confines of Midland Memorial late this afternoon that he asked if we might just cruise around town a little and stop to get a candy bar. And so we did on a beautiful fall afternoon.
