The passing of The Big Gold Dog....
The Big Gold Dog, Tres, passed away without pain or discomfort and on his own according to God's will this morning at about 6:40 a.m. Both he and I were as prepared as we could be. Last night, as I have done for years I sat with him before I went to bed saying, "I love you, you big old dog". He was alert, looked particularly contented and knew I was there. I'm glad those were the last words he ever heard. I knew the end was near and dear friend that he was he went on his own without having to force me to make that painful last decision. I'm grateful to God that at least during the last several months he was able to enjoy his front yard and the many people who loved him and stopped to stroke his golden head. Or his friends like Snoopy, who got to stop by for one last visit in the final weeks. There has been no better friend on earth nor a more gentle soul.....
If there is any creature on earth that will be granted "express check-in" to God's eternal kingdom it will be the Big Gold Dog. He was my best buddy on earth and he taught me the true meaning of unconditional love, not only his for me, but hopefully mine for him too. His strength and will to go on doing the things he loved in the last month was remarkable. He now lies buried in my folks yard next to my last great golden pal "Ranger".
I know that he left me at 6:40 because, for a reason I didn't understand then, I awoke abruptly at the moment. As I have done for these last months of his illness I got up and went to look down the hall, not far from my bed, to check on him. He looked to be slumbering peacefully, which I now know he was, asleep in God's arms and waiting at the Rainbow Bridge. I went back to sleep and when I checked on him when I awoke again, I realized that he was gone, looking as peaceful and serene as he always has. I now know why I awoke at 6:40; I firmly believe that he left this good earth at that moment and his spirit passed over me one last time, letting me know he was going.
I held his head in my arms and told him goodbye again, and as I let Daphne in, she went right to his side and lay down next to him, knowing too that he was gone. I then called my friend and AA sponsor Robert who lives down the street to see if he could help move Tres to my parents yard where he would be buried. He said, of course, and was right there helping me move Tres to one of his favorite blankets in which we carried him gently to my folks.
I then I went to church, where Dr. Tim Walker, who had met the Big Gold Dog, offered to make a special prayer for Tres. Next to an after chruch AA meeting where most members knew of Tres' illness and offered their prayers for him. I had arranged for another Robert, a man I sponsor in AA, to come to the burial site to help me dig the grave for Tres and true to his word, he came as soon as I called. When I knew that Robert was on the way, I'll have to say that I finally broke down and sobbed like I have not done in decades, the finality of my best buddy's death had finally hit home.
Robert and I dug a nice grave in a shady spot of my folks yard, next to Ranger, my last Golden. With my folks in attendance we had a nice moment of silence followed by prayers from Robert and Myself. Tres was wrapped in his beautiful and clean blanket and I laid one of my favorite sweatshirts, one filled with my scent under his head as well one of his favorites treats, a rawhide bone. Robert and I closed his grave and I laid a golden lily over where his heart now rests. I had brought Dahpne to say good bye to her pal, and as a gift from God, she laid down right atop his resting place, a fitting tribute I thought.
I cannot tell you enough what the outpouring of emails, phone calls and personal sympathy that I have received today mean to me, as well as the beautiful flower arrangement sent by my old friends the Bynums. It's nice to know that although some people see fit to leave our lives at hard times like these, there are more than enough caring ones to take their place.
I went to two funerals yesterday, one for an old AA friend who had died elsewhere but had chosen to be buried next to her husband in Odessa. Kathy was from an old family in North Carolina, and although only 5 of her close family had flown out for the memorial the amount of flowers sent was staggering. As we left they invited me to take one of the arrangements, which I gladly did, a beautiful fall bouquet of fresh flowers that featured gold and rust tones. I chose these because they would match the living room decor. Kathy's sister told me of the strange coincidence that of all those arrangements I had picked the one that was sent by my friend Patti in North Carolina who had been instrumental in helping me get sober many years ago......and who had emailed me each day asking of Tres' condition. It wasn't until I knew that Tres was gone that I realized the significance of my choice of that golden bouquet, it was a gift from God to me early today, a message that Tres, the Big Gold Dog was home.
I don't mind telling you that I've been sobbing uncontrollably at times with the finality of my loss, there have been very few days over the last 10 or so years that I have not had him by my side. Tonight will be the worst, not having him laying with me in the office and not sleeping down the hall outside the bedroom. But with all the heartache I've had lately, God did give me another gift, D. Daphne Dog who will help with the continuity of my life and be a good companion to help ease the pain. In fact we're going walking right now.
I'm grateful for the skill and true caring of my Vet and friend Dr. Greg Adkins who stopped by almost daily to check and minister to Tres. Again, I cannot offer my profound thanks enough to all who cared about my best buddy, The Big Gold Dog.
The Big Gold Dog, Tres, passed away without pain or discomfort and on his own according to God's will this morning at about 6:40 a.m. Both he and I were as prepared as we could be. Last night, as I have done for years I sat with him before I went to bed saying, "I love you, you big old dog". He was alert, looked particularly contented and knew I was there. I'm glad those were the last words he ever heard. I knew the end was near and dear friend that he was he went on his own without having to force me to make that painful last decision. I'm grateful to God that at least during the last several months he was able to enjoy his front yard and the many people who loved him and stopped to stroke his golden head. Or his friends like Snoopy, who got to stop by for one last visit in the final weeks. There has been no better friend on earth nor a more gentle soul.....
If there is any creature on earth that will be granted "express check-in" to God's eternal kingdom it will be the Big Gold Dog. He was my best buddy on earth and he taught me the true meaning of unconditional love, not only his for me, but hopefully mine for him too. His strength and will to go on doing the things he loved in the last month was remarkable. He now lies buried in my folks yard next to my last great golden pal "Ranger".
I know that he left me at 6:40 because, for a reason I didn't understand then, I awoke abruptly at the moment. As I have done for these last months of his illness I got up and went to look down the hall, not far from my bed, to check on him. He looked to be slumbering peacefully, which I now know he was, asleep in God's arms and waiting at the Rainbow Bridge. I went back to sleep and when I checked on him when I awoke again, I realized that he was gone, looking as peaceful and serene as he always has. I now know why I awoke at 6:40; I firmly believe that he left this good earth at that moment and his spirit passed over me one last time, letting me know he was going.
I held his head in my arms and told him goodbye again, and as I let Daphne in, she went right to his side and lay down next to him, knowing too that he was gone. I then called my friend and AA sponsor Robert who lives down the street to see if he could help move Tres to my parents yard where he would be buried. He said, of course, and was right there helping me move Tres to one of his favorite blankets in which we carried him gently to my folks.
I then I went to church, where Dr. Tim Walker, who had met the Big Gold Dog, offered to make a special prayer for Tres. Next to an after chruch AA meeting where most members knew of Tres' illness and offered their prayers for him. I had arranged for another Robert, a man I sponsor in AA, to come to the burial site to help me dig the grave for Tres and true to his word, he came as soon as I called. When I knew that Robert was on the way, I'll have to say that I finally broke down and sobbed like I have not done in decades, the finality of my best buddy's death had finally hit home.
Robert and I dug a nice grave in a shady spot of my folks yard, next to Ranger, my last Golden. With my folks in attendance we had a nice moment of silence followed by prayers from Robert and Myself. Tres was wrapped in his beautiful and clean blanket and I laid one of my favorite sweatshirts, one filled with my scent under his head as well one of his favorites treats, a rawhide bone. Robert and I closed his grave and I laid a golden lily over where his heart now rests. I had brought Dahpne to say good bye to her pal, and as a gift from God, she laid down right atop his resting place, a fitting tribute I thought.
I cannot tell you enough what the outpouring of emails, phone calls and personal sympathy that I have received today mean to me, as well as the beautiful flower arrangement sent by my old friends the Bynums. It's nice to know that although some people see fit to leave our lives at hard times like these, there are more than enough caring ones to take their place.
I went to two funerals yesterday, one for an old AA friend who had died elsewhere but had chosen to be buried next to her husband in Odessa. Kathy was from an old family in North Carolina, and although only 5 of her close family had flown out for the memorial the amount of flowers sent was staggering. As we left they invited me to take one of the arrangements, which I gladly did, a beautiful fall bouquet of fresh flowers that featured gold and rust tones. I chose these because they would match the living room decor. Kathy's sister told me of the strange coincidence that of all those arrangements I had picked the one that was sent by my friend Patti in North Carolina who had been instrumental in helping me get sober many years ago......and who had emailed me each day asking of Tres' condition. It wasn't until I knew that Tres was gone that I realized the significance of my choice of that golden bouquet, it was a gift from God to me early today, a message that Tres, the Big Gold Dog was home.
I don't mind telling you that I've been sobbing uncontrollably at times with the finality of my loss, there have been very few days over the last 10 or so years that I have not had him by my side. Tonight will be the worst, not having him laying with me in the office and not sleeping down the hall outside the bedroom. But with all the heartache I've had lately, God did give me another gift, D. Daphne Dog who will help with the continuity of my life and be a good companion to help ease the pain. In fact we're going walking right now.
I'm grateful for the skill and true caring of my Vet and friend Dr. Greg Adkins who stopped by almost daily to check and minister to Tres. Again, I cannot offer my profound thanks enough to all who cared about my best buddy, The Big Gold Dog.
