It was a Grand Jury...!
The truth can finally be revealed. For the last six months I have been serving on the Grand Jury of the 142nd District Court of Texas. While actively serving we are sworn to a vow of secrecy to protect the innocent...namely us the jurors. My term expired yesterday with our final meeting so now I am free to speak of my judicial journey. If you ever are nominated to serve on a Grand Jury do so, it's an enlightening experience not to mention pretty damn entertaining at times. The ultimate reality show.
The Grand Jury is an important part of the legal process as it serves as the first buffer between a, possibly, overzealous police force or district attorney and the always pure naive citizenry. Twelve average citizens of good repute [well, eleven in our case] who hear the evidence in all felony cases and decide if there is enough merit to indict the recalcitrants and send them forward to a full blown trial. We saw it all, vehicular manslaughter, child abuse, assault with a deadly weapon, retaliation, armed robbery, organized criminal activity, drug possession and the ever popular DWI and "forgery by passing" i.e. hot checks. The last two categories making up the majority of the cases. We saw DWI movies, heard from expert witnesses, questioned suspects and had the power to subpoena anyone we saw fit. That was the best part...."Uncle Festus was there when the crime was allegedly commited? Bring him in we want to talk him.....!!"
I learned several things from my time on the Grand Jury. First, even in a mild mannered medium sized town such as ours, there is a lot of stuff going down, stuff that never makes the papers or is known by the average citizen. Secondly a large portion of the petty criminal activity is perpetrated by morons. We heard it all but here are some highlights.
The Case of the Pizza Pirate, a young man who while at a friend's party stole his VisaCard. Having gotten away with the act and gone unnoticed the Perp decided to start using his newly borrowed card. What does any good criminal do with a stolen card.....we'll he starts ordering pizza every night from the same Pizza Hut and having it delivered to his home. Not once, but at least 12 times. When the charges hit, the local sleuths had very little trouble tracking this criminal mastermind down.
The Case of The Discount Daddy, another young man who took a purse and it's contents from a parked car owned by an elderly woman, "Mrs. Smith". Within 20 minutes this Perp was on a shopping spree at one of the trendy hipster clothing stores at The Mall. The young criminal buys several hundred dollars worth of 20-ish style clothing with "Mrs. Smiths" MasterCard. In fact the clerk thinks that he's such a good customer she asks him if he wants to join their "Preferred Shopper" program to receive a bonus discount. Only a heartbeat from walking out the door scott free, The Perp can't miss a bargain so he signs up.....using his real name and address. The alert clerk notices that his name is not related to "Mrs. Smith" and calls the cops, who are at the Perps address before he gets home.
The Case of the Range Rustlers, two young men who broke into a local OffRoad Vehicle dealer on the edge of town late one night and stole two rather expensive Honda ATV's. Instead of driving down the asphalt road to freedom, they thought they would deter detection by going out the back through the adjoining ranchland. As you might know, the range land here is generally rather sandy. The cops had no problem at all when they brought their own ATV out and simply followed the trail several miles to the young criminals luxurious mobile home with two brand new ATV's out back.
I could could go on about the folks who steal checks and then write them to themselves using their real names and showing their real drivers licenses with addresses but you get my drift.
The truth can finally be revealed. For the last six months I have been serving on the Grand Jury of the 142nd District Court of Texas. While actively serving we are sworn to a vow of secrecy to protect the innocent...namely us the jurors. My term expired yesterday with our final meeting so now I am free to speak of my judicial journey. If you ever are nominated to serve on a Grand Jury do so, it's an enlightening experience not to mention pretty damn entertaining at times. The ultimate reality show.
The Grand Jury is an important part of the legal process as it serves as the first buffer between a, possibly, overzealous police force or district attorney and the always pure naive citizenry. Twelve average citizens of good repute [well, eleven in our case] who hear the evidence in all felony cases and decide if there is enough merit to indict the recalcitrants and send them forward to a full blown trial. We saw it all, vehicular manslaughter, child abuse, assault with a deadly weapon, retaliation, armed robbery, organized criminal activity, drug possession and the ever popular DWI and "forgery by passing" i.e. hot checks. The last two categories making up the majority of the cases. We saw DWI movies, heard from expert witnesses, questioned suspects and had the power to subpoena anyone we saw fit. That was the best part...."Uncle Festus was there when the crime was allegedly commited? Bring him in we want to talk him.....!!"
I learned several things from my time on the Grand Jury. First, even in a mild mannered medium sized town such as ours, there is a lot of stuff going down, stuff that never makes the papers or is known by the average citizen. Secondly a large portion of the petty criminal activity is perpetrated by morons. We heard it all but here are some highlights.
The Case of the Pizza Pirate, a young man who while at a friend's party stole his VisaCard. Having gotten away with the act and gone unnoticed the Perp decided to start using his newly borrowed card. What does any good criminal do with a stolen card.....we'll he starts ordering pizza every night from the same Pizza Hut and having it delivered to his home. Not once, but at least 12 times. When the charges hit, the local sleuths had very little trouble tracking this criminal mastermind down.
The Case of The Discount Daddy, another young man who took a purse and it's contents from a parked car owned by an elderly woman, "Mrs. Smith". Within 20 minutes this Perp was on a shopping spree at one of the trendy hipster clothing stores at The Mall. The young criminal buys several hundred dollars worth of 20-ish style clothing with "Mrs. Smiths" MasterCard. In fact the clerk thinks that he's such a good customer she asks him if he wants to join their "Preferred Shopper" program to receive a bonus discount. Only a heartbeat from walking out the door scott free, The Perp can't miss a bargain so he signs up.....using his real name and address. The alert clerk notices that his name is not related to "Mrs. Smith" and calls the cops, who are at the Perps address before he gets home.
The Case of the Range Rustlers, two young men who broke into a local OffRoad Vehicle dealer on the edge of town late one night and stole two rather expensive Honda ATV's. Instead of driving down the asphalt road to freedom, they thought they would deter detection by going out the back through the adjoining ranchland. As you might know, the range land here is generally rather sandy. The cops had no problem at all when they brought their own ATV out and simply followed the trail several miles to the young criminals luxurious mobile home with two brand new ATV's out back.
I could could go on about the folks who steal checks and then write them to themselves using their real names and showing their real drivers licenses with addresses but you get my drift.
