Powerless over Christmas....
One of the first things we learn when we are trying to overcome addictive substances or behaviors, is to delare that we do in fact have a problem and that we are powerless over that problem. Having recognized the problem, we then turn our troubles over to a "higher power" for help.
I hereby declare that, apparently, I have a problem functioning normally at Christmas. Not with the holiday idea, or getting in the mood, but rather with the simple act of choosing, purchasing, and sending gifts to my loved ones. It's not about the money, or worrying about the size/price of the gift....it's just simple brain lock-up over deciding to "get into action" and get something, anything done. This is the same feeling I had when I was paralyzed by alcohol many years ago. It's the idea that makes AA work. You can recognize the problem, have all the best intentions and want to change, but until you "get into action" you are making no progress.
For years, well maybe decades now, I have sworn to myself that come September, or maybe October I would start buying gifts for my relatives and actually get said gifts to said relatives by November. And here again I sit mere days from Christmas a total wreck, agonizing over what to get, how to get it there in a timely fashion, and with a general malaise that I am totally lacking as a Christmas person and a human being.
But...I am making progress. This year I have turned my Christmas will and life over to a higher power. JULIE. She has gotten me into some form of action, and where my actions are lacking, she has stepped in with actions of her own. She has already ordered and sent gifts for my out of town brother and sister, looked in catalogues for gifts for my nieces, loaded me in the car for a trip to the dreaded mall to get these gifts and to find one for my nephew. She has personally surpervised me while I wrapped some of the gifts, and knowing that I am not yet ready for this next big step, is at the post office this very moment mailing the gifts.
I'm feeling much better about myself now, and I have the luxury of having three [3] more whole days to finish shopping for the local folks on my list. I have so much time on my hands, that possibly I can relax now, and wait until Tuesday to finish. I love having a higher power, and a beautiful, kind and sexy one at that.
One of the first things we learn when we are trying to overcome addictive substances or behaviors, is to delare that we do in fact have a problem and that we are powerless over that problem. Having recognized the problem, we then turn our troubles over to a "higher power" for help.
I hereby declare that, apparently, I have a problem functioning normally at Christmas. Not with the holiday idea, or getting in the mood, but rather with the simple act of choosing, purchasing, and sending gifts to my loved ones. It's not about the money, or worrying about the size/price of the gift....it's just simple brain lock-up over deciding to "get into action" and get something, anything done. This is the same feeling I had when I was paralyzed by alcohol many years ago. It's the idea that makes AA work. You can recognize the problem, have all the best intentions and want to change, but until you "get into action" you are making no progress.
For years, well maybe decades now, I have sworn to myself that come September, or maybe October I would start buying gifts for my relatives and actually get said gifts to said relatives by November. And here again I sit mere days from Christmas a total wreck, agonizing over what to get, how to get it there in a timely fashion, and with a general malaise that I am totally lacking as a Christmas person and a human being.
But...I am making progress. This year I have turned my Christmas will and life over to a higher power. JULIE. She has gotten me into some form of action, and where my actions are lacking, she has stepped in with actions of her own. She has already ordered and sent gifts for my out of town brother and sister, looked in catalogues for gifts for my nieces, loaded me in the car for a trip to the dreaded mall to get these gifts and to find one for my nephew. She has personally surpervised me while I wrapped some of the gifts, and knowing that I am not yet ready for this next big step, is at the post office this very moment mailing the gifts.
I'm feeling much better about myself now, and I have the luxury of having three [3] more whole days to finish shopping for the local folks on my list. I have so much time on my hands, that possibly I can relax now, and wait until Tuesday to finish. I love having a higher power, and a beautiful, kind and sexy one at that.
